Floater

Preface:

I used to have a dream that I would wake up and find myself in the middle of a black sea in twilight or dusk floating on a piece of ice. The lands in the distance were ice. I was alone and naked, but not cold.

I would look into the water which looked like it would best be described as a black pearl. I would think of slipping in and drowning myself to get out of my terrible situation. I wondered how the water would burn my lungs as I would inhale my last breaths. I wondered if sharks or parasites would eat my flesh.

In the end, I stayed on my iceberg and instead thought of attempting to paddle somewhere in this desolate cold land. I still wanted to live.

The Rest of the Story:

I have just finished reading the book, "Fifty Miles from Tomorrow: A Memoir of Alaska and the Real People," by William L. Hensley. William, whose Inupiaq name is "Iggiagruk," was one of the leaders in assuring that Alaska Natives had say over their land, its resources, how they are handled, etc. He realized that after seeing how the U.S. decimated the indigenous folks in the lower 48, after Alaska became a state, his folks had to act in order to have some sort of control over their lives and lands. For some 15 years, he worked tirelessly to guarantee his people had a say in their lives.

In 1980, he realized that even with all of the legal and policy work that he had done, more of his folks were drinking themselves to death, dying of exposure due to alcohol, had high rates of suicide, drug abuse, abused wives and children, etc. After all the work he did, his people were still dying.

What to do?

He started working to build culture back into the lives of his people. With his people, they all worked to preserve language and culture to insure that their way of life continued into this modern time.

You see, like us here in the lower 48, his folks were informed by the genocidal colonialists through boarding schools, forced poverty, rape, etc., that they were horrible and useless people and should be FORCED to change into what the colonialists believe is good, whether or not it actually is. From a superiority complex brought about by the willingness to use excessive force and NEVER to play fair, the colonialists sought to disembowl the lives and cultures of Native Alaskans and leave them to waste in order to steal their land and resources for themselves. Same old story.

But the Inupiaq knew they had value as a people. Knew they weren't inferior and survived the horrific genocides of the colonialists in order to continue to exist today.

Adrift:

Folks were set adrift, as Hensley puts it in his books. Children were forcibly taken by the Bureau of Indian Affairs and taught that their lives, culture, and people were less than useless. They were taught their holy people were evil, their languages that of no less than satan's, were beaten or ostracized for speaking their own language, etc. The children were set adrift. Taken from the unity of family, people, culture, landbase, and informed through the colonialists via boarding schools and christian churches that they were invalid.

To help cure this hurt, this trauma, the colonialists brought alcohol. Taught folks to medicate using this medicine, and to die younger so the colonialists can steal more from people in a weakened state. We float adrift, waiting to die, wondering about slipping beneath surface of the water into a comforting brief pain and a sleep that never ends and will take us away from this emptiness. Yet...we yearn to survive.

Bodies Float:

I realized that many folks have suffered this form of trauma. This being forced to believe in isolation and self-absorbtion and call it culture...American Culture. Where we medicate this trauma with shopping, eating, alcohol, drugs, sex, television, overwork, etc.

Euro's came here generations ago and told their offspring not to speak the old language, they are American now. Same with Mexicans, Africans, Middle Easterners, etc. Many folks in many forms have been taught how invalid THEY are and that they have to become something else in order to fit within the frameworks of American society. Most of us have been separated from who we are, where we come from, our old landbase, our new landbase, our families, our peoples, etc. We float through the waterways not knowing if it is appropriate to land on the banks of anything. Where do we belong? Where is home? Is it the old country? The new? Some combination? None of the above? ...we float... ...adrift...

That Is Where I Come From:

I guess that is where I come from.

All the years I did radio, that was a sub-theme. I know where my people come from. I know our landbase. I don't know our culture. I don't know our language.

And there are many like me. I am not the only one. Though we have similar experiences, we are all effected differently. But we have a way to connect. I can connect with most folks under this one commonality: If you are to be a part of THIS world, you have to give up that which was useless (your old world, your identity, often your language and culture) to be a part of this superior world that looks down upon what you once were and should not be.

But you are valid. You have validity, whether or not you even know who your people are or where your landbase is. You are valid and important as an immigrant or indigenous, visitor or resident. This CIVILIZATION has taken your identity and your power and converted it into profits for the few.

But wait...you really still have your power. You really still have your identity. You really still have validity in this world. Even if you are adrift, a body floating in the water, if you have air in your lungs, CLAIM YOUR POWER TO LIVE, claim your power, change the world.